A trio of restaurant patrons in New York City ordered a charcuterie board and got something much less underwhelming than they’d anticipated.
Via TikTok post, creator Hallie (@hallielooyaa) shared a video on Sunday revealing the crime against charcuterie, drawing over 1.8 million views and nearly 145,000 likes since going up. In it, Hallie and two companions react to the charcuterie board they’re served before showing its inadequacies.
The on-screen caption reads, “We ordered the charcuterie board for the table and this is what they brought out.”
The reveal shows what might be four olives in a small dish and twelve roundels of deli meats, arranged in two rows of six, accompanied by audio saying, “We need to call the police.”
@hallielooyaa Mouse behavior #nyc ♬ original sound – dashcity
It’s a far cry from the cornucopia on a board that most people imagine when they think of charcuterie. An article that appeared last month on Food Network’s site recommended, “It’s important to remember that your board is an appetizer, not a main course (unless you are serving it on its own — we’ll get to that below), so you don’t need a half or quarter pound of meat per person, as you would serve for an entree.”
While it recommended “two to three slices of meat, or approximately 2 to 3 ounces per person should satisfy your guests ahead of the rest of the meal,” it also had recommendations for cheese and “extras” not present on the board in the TikTok video.
The article noted, “The more the better! My number one complaint about meat and cheese platters at restaurants is that they often don’t give you enough bread. Don’t make this mistake. You’ll want at least one cracker or piece of bread for every slice of meat. Extras — pickles, spreads, nuts, fruits — should all be plentiful. It’s OK if they out-number your meats and cheeses, since your guests may want to play with different flavor combos in each bite. It would not be unreasonable to serve 5-10 handfuls or small vessels of extras.”
In the comments section of Hallie’s video, viewers reacted to the meat and olive offering the restaurant gave the trio.
“Charcuterie boards are a scam wherever you go,” one declared.
That led a few people to immediately disagree, including one who said, “Sadly you’ve never been to the places that have really good ones.”
One viewer revealed, “Last place I’ve been to had a nice board that was great as an appetizer. Was about $10-15 and worth it.”
“4 olives and no cheese?” another commenter exclaimed. “What is this a charcuterie board for ants?”
That led to a bit of a semantics debate, with one responding, “Why would there be cheese? It’s charcuterie.”
Another person dismissed that notion by saying, “You must be fun at parties.”
But someone else maintained, “That’s what an actual charcuterie board is. The US had bastardized charcuterie boards to the point where we don’t recognize the actual thing anymore.”
A few people tried to guess the New York restaurant pricing for such a board.
“That’ll be $42,” guessed one.
Another upped the ante, quipping, “Best $50 charcuterie board ever.”
The Daily Dot has reached out to Hallie via email.
*First Published: Nov 15, 2023, 11:30 pm CST
Phil West is a veteran professional writer and editor, and the author of two books on soccer, ‘The United States of Soccer,’ and ‘I Believe That We Will Win,’ both from The Overlook Press. His work has appeared most recently in The Striker (where he served as managing editor), MLSSoccer.com, Next City, and Texas Highways. Based in Austin, he is also a lecturer in the Writing Program at the University of Texas at San Antonio.